I realize today is the 2nd day of 2012 and that maybe I missed the window of time when one is allowed to reflect on 2011 but I’ll just ask for forgiveness and move on…
Looking back on the year in which I turned 30, hands down the greatest, most awesomest thing that happened was that I got to go for Hajj. For a Muslim who is financially and physically able, going for the Hajj is a requirement and must be completed at least once in one’s life. It was truly a blessing that I got to go on the pilgrimage at this age.
After I got back, someone asked me if I was going to write about my experiences. At first, I wanted to but realized I wrote all that I needed to say in my Facebook update on my way back from Saudi Arabia:
“Hajj went well, Alhamdulilah. Hoping to now institute some change in my life for the better, InshAllah. ”
I know, I know, not exactly the most insightful statement but I felt like that was all I had to say in written form.
However, when anyone asked me in person how my trip was, I would tell them about it. I talked about the mosque in Medina and how I couldn’t get over how beautiful it was, about saying my prayers in front of the Kaaba, staying in tents in Mina, and how really cool a lot of the people I met turned out to be.
Funny enough though, I do feel the need to write about one aspect right now…
Like I said above, I came back with the sense of wanting to change. Because, I have to be honest with y’all, I felt like my flaws were exposed during the trip. There were a few times where I took a step back from the situation and couldn’t believe myself. I wanted to be as perfect as possible but who knows how many mistakes I made and how many defects in my own self manifested. At some point though, I realized that I was just going to have to try to do my best and quit worrying. Beyond that, I could pray that my pilgrimage was accepted and start incorporating changes in my life – I want to be a better person, be more charitable, be more spiritual and religious, more patient, more everything. Essentially, I wanted to improve myself.
Having said all of the above, more than 6 weeks have passed and I feel like I haven’t gotten on any of the things I set for myself. I keep on thinking about all that I want to do but never actually do them (Hey, I guess that’s another one of my flaws!).
So with the new year, I want to take the opportunity to start fresh. Just because I haven’t done something yet doesn’t mean I can never do it. I still have a lot to reflect on from my pilgrimage and I don’t want to lose the momentum that came from it. Therefore I will:
– Start all the things I said to myself I would do when I got back Hajj
– Quit procrastinating on a few other things that I’ve wanted to start/continue for a while now (Man, remember when I was learning Arabic? Exactly!)
Here’s hoping for a successful 2012 for all of us, InshAllah.
Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!
Lady in front of me praying in Medina