Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

by Bushra on May 28, 2011

Some months ago, I was having lunch with a couple of coworkers/friends when the conversation came to what we would do if the zombie apocalypse happened. The two were talking about who, out of the rest of the coworkers, they would choose to be part of their ‘team’ against the zombies. I’m not going to lie, I was slightly nervous listening them talk about this. It was like elementary school all over again for me – would they pick me to be on their kickball team undead zombie kill squad? And then it was said…

“And Bushra could be the driver.”

Yes! I had a role! I would be the one donning the leather driving gloves, sitting calm and cool behind the wheel, either dodging or barreling into the undead and creating a safe and clear path for my compadres.

There was one problem with this scenario, however.

I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift.

I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good driver but I can’t expect that every available car abandoned on the side of the road for my taking will be an automatic. I need to be prepared. I needed to learn how to drive a stick shift. I have always wanted to learn how to drive one but now that my role required this skill, I would have to get right on it.

Fortunately, one of my coworker friends drove a stick shift and offered to give me lessons on her car. And so it began.

We started off practicing on the roads in the mostly abandoned naval base in Alameda (do you all remember that one scene in Star Trek IV? “Excuse me, can you tell me where to find the ‘nucular wessels?'” Chekov was looking for the base in Alameda). Many stalls later (many, many stalls), I was able to drive on streets where other people actually drove on, and then moved to learning how drive on hills, and then freeways.

My friends, I can safely say that I now know how to drive a stick shift. I can now properly fulfill my role as the speed racer/getaway car driver during the zombie uprising.

This couldn’t have come at a better time. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently had an article about how one can be properly prepared in the event of a zombie apocalypse in a blog entry titled Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse.

It’s never too early to be prepared everyone. Take a moment and reflect what it is you need to do.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Tony May 30, 2011 at 6:51 am

Bushra,
This is hilarious. I hope I was included in the getaway plan. As my son once said, “Dad, you can read your poetry and bore people to death.” I wonder I can bore the undead to death again?

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Bushra May 30, 2011 at 2:20 pm

How about we give you a megaphone and if the bullets don’t work, you start reciting poetry? Just kidding ;) Your poetry is good stuff Tony!

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