I remember back when I first started fasting in the month of Ramadan. I was in the 4th grade and fasted for maybe 2 or 3 days in the whole month. I started fasting full time when I was in the 5th grade. Well, full time minus one day. There was a class party one day and I decided not to fast because I didn’t want to miss out on the food. Although I wasn’t even required to fast back then, I still look back on that situation and mentally shake my head, wondering how I justified not fasting because of a class party. It made perfect sense when I was 10 though.
Back then, if someone asked me why I was fasting, I probably wouldn’t have been able to give more than a generic answer. To my young self, Ramadan meant I couldn’t eat from dawn until dusk and not too much more beyond that.* Now, I really try to do my best to utilize the month as it is about a lot more than not eating and drinking during the day. I look forward to Ramadan because every time it comes around, it’s at a time when I need a spiritual recharge, when I need to be reminded about what’s important in life and not let all the little things affect me in a negative manner. I increase my reading on religious matters and try to gain knowledge in this month. Also, I really do try to watch what I do or say and how I am with people. In essence, I try to be a better person.
This year I’m trying to focus on getting rid of one particular bad habit – I worry too much. After I have done everything I can for a situation, I need to let it be and not constantly dwell on it. I need to keep the faith and understand that whatever happens, happens and that’s the way God intended for it to be.
I have found myself struggling lately to keep the above in mind and not succumb to worry and to over-analyze a situation. Ramadan is already half way over and I have been doing my best to work on this internal issue of mine. Here’s hoping that I can achieve this goal and find other ways in which I can improve myself, InshAllah, before the month’s end.
Next Ramadan: I’ll try to work on my sarcasm and get it under control.
I can’t make any promises though.
*The Wikipedia article on Ramadan explains the meaning of this month quite well.