Dealing with the Inevitable

The following includes views on death and religion so if you’re not interested in either subject (which is fine) step away from the entry…

Yesterday, my brother in law’s (Vasim’s) father passed away. He’s had some sort of cancer for a few years now and in these past few months, he took a turn for the worse. He finally succumbed to his sickness yesterday after being bedridden for a while. He had suffered quite a bit all the way up until the end.

We have this thing in Islam that 1) everything happens for a reason, even if you can’t see why and 2) and any kind of suffering endured in this life – which could be something as simple as hurting yourself when walking into a door – is less suffering one has to go through in the afterlife for his/her sins.

Trust me when I say that the above makes dealing with things a lot easier.

At the funeral prayer yesterday, people were making the obvious comments of comparing him to my dad – their sicknesses, how it all ended, etc. I understand that it’s not always about my dad and he’s not the father to die and all that, but I just couldn’t help thinking about him yesterday and missing him so much.

I remember that when my dad died, I took solace in the fact that he wasn’t suffering anymore. It was so hard to see what he had become in a span of 3 months and I knew he hated it. The only way I was even able to deal with what was happening to him was my belief that things happen for a reason and therefore there was some reason he had to endure his tumor and subsequent suffering.

I saw Vasim’s mom yesterday and my heart went out to her. It will be a while for her and her family to be able to move on. I wish their family the best right now and hope that things get better for them, InshAllah (God willing).

2 thoughts

  1. I can’t help but wonder, this trade off of earthly suffering in exchange for a lesser penance at your spiritual reckoning, does it include self inflicted suffering?

    Kind of a weird question, I know.

    Sorry for your loss.

  2. That’s an interesting question, Alex. As far as I know, self inflicted suffering is not allowed, and this includes suicide. I’m not sure what the other Abrahamic religions say regarding this topic. Not to say that there are not Muslims that commit suicide however…

    By the way, suffering can also include coping with being poor and other hardships in general.

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