Bushra’s Blog

I had a phone interview the other day for a permanent position within the department I’m currently working in as a contractor. While I wasn’t actually dreading the interview, I had this fear that I was going to somehow accidentally sabotage myself.

And I sort of did.

I won’t go into the specifics of the position and the company here so I’ll be as vague as possible…

The interview was going pretty smoothly until I was asked a question that I have never been asked and have never thought I would be asked. I sputtered a bit and tried to think of something half way intelligent to say and finally did say something. Unfortunately, this spun off into something I didn’t foresee but should have. Long story short, the HR person sort of made it sound like I would eventually leave this job for the same reasons I quit my last job.

*facepalm*

I somehow explained my way out of the hole that I dug for myself and we we continued from there, talking about other aspects of the job, benefits, and all that good stuff.

I talked about the interview with a coworker and explained the above to her. She said it was a positive sign that we talked for a while (a 1/2 hour) but I just shrugged my shoulders.

I’ll find out by the end of this week if I have an interview with the hiring manager.

If not, no worries. It’s all good.

(Of course, maybe I shouldn’t be telling so many people about something that is so uncertain.)

Ten years ago, I graduated from high school, give or take a few days. I walked across the stage setup at my high school, shaking the principal’s hand while proudly taking my empty diploma holder (actual diploma to be picked up later) amidst the claps and hollers of the few people I actually knew among the 500+ people in my graduating class.

I already knew what I wanted to do in college and I figured within four years I would graduate, have a job lined up upon my last days of college, and everything would be hunky dory, so to speak.

Or not.

While not everything turned out the way I thought I would, I’m still really fortunate to be where I’m at right now: working with savings, being there for my family, and having a few really good friends (the kind that understand me and put up with my sarcasm and the weirdness that overcomes me with lack of food or an excess of caffeine). However, I’m still trying to find out what I want to do “when I grow up” even now, ten years later and a few weeks shy of my 28th birthday.

I used to think it was all about the money. Happiness would come with the bigger paycheck, I thought. That was the mentality that I had back in high school but in the ten years since, I’ve been leaning towards a different definition. Happiness is about figuring out what I want to do and and to just quit worrying about all the things I don’t have control over, an incredibly bad habit of mine.

Now I need to find what makes me happy, InshAllah

In New Muslim Cool, filmmaker Jennifer Maytorena Taylor presents a look at the life of Puerto Rican American Hamza Perez over a period of a few years in Pittsburgh as he and other members of the community work to establish a Muslim community.

Born Jason, Hamza used to be a drug dealer in Massachusetts before he found Islam and turned his life around at the age of 21. Although only 83 minutes, New Muslim Cool covers many aspects of Hamza’s life: how he fits in with his (mostly) non-Muslim relatives, his marriage, his work as an activist, his hip hop career, even how he and the rest of the Muslim community deal with an uncalled for FBI raid on their mosque.

Taylor and editor Kenji Yamamoto worked well to make the film as cohesive as possible. Despite the fact that one is watching scenes that have been filmed over a few years, the documentary has an underlying theme. It’s about Hamza maturing, becoming a better person, understanding who he is, and embracing the responsibilities he feels are incumbent on him.

The great thing about New Muslim Cool is that you don’t have to be a Muslim or a convert to appreciate this film. The message given is universal and Hamza is entirely relatable. Check it out if you can. There’s one more screening in San Francisco at the Sundance Kabuki Theater on May 4 and other screenings in other parts of the country. Also, New Muslim Cool has the distinction of airing on June 23 on PBS to start off the new season of POV.

I used to play video games a lot.

In our household, we have had some sort of video game console ever since I was little. The Atari 7800 gave way to the Nintendo, which led to Sega Genesis, then Playstation, and then the XBOX. We didn’t go for the Super Nintendo, N64, or PS2 though. (Although my brother and I once rented the n64 from Blockbuster with the Star Wars game Shadow of the Empire, which was awesome by the way.)

One of my favorite games on the XBOX was Splinter Cell. I loved how it wasn’t a straight shoot-em up but a game that required strategy and patience. Ducking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to move, being discreet while climbing fences and knocking people out (and subsequently moving the bodies to the shadows), awesome.

These past few days, I’ve been missing the Nintendo Entertainment System. I miss the simplicity of just having two buttons, A and B, that have given way to a more complicated set of buttons on video game systems of late. I miss cheat codes, which were usually a combination of something like: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A. Besides Contra, the Nintendo game I miss the most is Battletoads because I was never, ever able to pass it. I know, I know. Shock. Horror. I was unable to pass a game.
It was a pretty cool game but hard (according to Wikipedia, I wasn’t the only one to think it was hard). At one point in the game I couldn’t figure out what to do next. I seriously had no clue how to proceed from the predicament I found myself in and that’s where it ended for me.

I want another crack at it.

Alas, I don’t play video games anymore. I do have an XBOX 360, but I use it to watch DVDs. I can’t justify the hours I may potentially spend playing video games. That and how video game mentality would somehow spill over into the real world. While I was playing Splinter Cell, I would actually think at times that I had night vision goggles on me. I even had to suppress urges to climb fences. That’s not good.

I still miss it all from time to time though.

There’s this phrase that Muslims use: “Allah is the best of all planners.” If you’re not meant to do something or go somewhere, it’s not going to happen if God didn’t will it. I believe people of different faiths have something similar.

This concept was really brought home last weekend as I had so many things I needed to get to but never did. Instead, life was essentially put on hold as my family and I dealt with something personal. Although everything turned out ok, or as ok as things could possibly get under the circumstance, it still made me stop and think and think about the above phrase.

So anyways folks, even the best laid plans may never come to fruition if it’s not meant to be.

Oh, and go hug your mom.

On occasion, I review movies, books, or TV shows for Media and Islam or Illumemedia, usually things that are related to Islam. On this site, I may occasionally review a random, non-religious book or movie for fun (like the DC animated films).

I realized a while ago that I was generally positive when it came to most of these reviews. Any kind of gripe I had was always minor and I always ended up giving a review close to glowing. I wondered, was I too nice? Would I end up giving everything a positive review?

I needn’t have worried.

I was recently given an advanced copy of a book by a marketing company. This particular company gave me a free book before, which was great, so I loved that they thought of me again to send me another book.

The premise of this particular book is a controversial one: it’s a novelized version of the life of one of the wives of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), Aisha (ra). I was a bit hesitant to read it at first because of the fiction mixed in with the true account of religious figures, but I thought I’d be fair and not just jump to conclusions.

So I read the book. To put it simply, I didn’t like it.

As I prepare to write my review, I wonder if it’s okay to even be negative. I’m the type of person who doesn’t take criticism well so I wonder: who am I to bestow criticism on anyone else?

The first copy of the book I received was an advanced copy without the real cover, just a really simple one that characterized it as an advanced copy. The company just sent me the published version of the book and I lamented the fact that I had another version of a book I didn’t like and my bookshelf was already bursting at the seams. I looked at the published version and read through the quotes from other authors that were printed on the front and back covers. The headlining quote was from Amy Tan and it was then I realized: I have my own opinion and I’ll go ahead and give it. People will like
the book and some people won’t and I happen to fall into the latter group. If you don’t want something to be critiqued don’t put it out there. And if by some crazy chance the author happens to read my review, he can take solace in the fact that other people liked it and what do I know because I’m no Amy Tan.

I just feel a bit bad because this will probably be the last time that this marketing company gives me a free book.

I figure any kind of analysis of the finale of Battlestar Galactica on this blog wouldn’t compare to the full on geek debates that have been raging on the web so I’ll forgo that and just say that I’m going to miss BSG.

I have to admit, I didn’t start watching from the moment it came on TV. Even though my brother watched it and it was definitely a show that someone like myself would watch, I didn’t bother with it. My coworker/friend convinced me to start watching it and I was hooked from the miniseries that started it all and berated myself for taking so long to get into it. I quickly caught up with it and by the time the second part of second season started, I was ready. Not every episode has been perfect but overall, it’s been a great show. It was so much more than just a science fiction series.

Here are some random moments/things from the series (SPOILERS!) that ‘got’ me in one way or another (not comprehensive by any means):

-The fact that only around 50,000 people in the entire human race were left after the initial cylon attack in the miniseries.

-Bill Adama’s rousing speech in the miniseries that he WILL lead them to Earth. So Say We All! (although he didn’t really believe an Earth existed).

- That President Roslin’s justice involved ejecting a cylon out of an airlock.

-Boomer completely unexpectedly shooting Bill Adama after a successful mission when he was going to shake her hand.

-In the episode ‘Downloaded’- finding out that Caprica Six saw a vision of Gaius Baltar the same way Baltar would would see a vision of Caprica Six.

-The entire rebellion on New Caprica - I particularly remember when Roslin was being held captive and Baltar insisting that there was no torture being conducted.

-Galactica’s rescue mission on New Caprica. Oh man, the part where Galactica descended and then jumped out? Whoa.

-The reveal of 4 of the 5 final cylons.

-Realizing that the Earth they have been searching for was a radioactive wasteland.

-Dualla blowing her brains out after a pleasant evening with Lee to avoid dealing with the above point.

-The role of All Along the Watchtower.

-The fact that Kara Thrace had known the notes to the above since she was a little girl.

Maybe I didn’t entirely get everything that happened in the series finale but I was still pretty satisfied with the way things turned out.

Also, I just want to say that I loved the relationships in BSG, especially the father/daughter one of Bill Adama and Kara Thrace.

Oh, and…

Least Favorite Episode: Black Market

Salaam all, I know it’s been a while. After 8 months of not having a job, I started work again just last week. It’s been interesting. By the time I get home, I only really have a couple of hours to do what I want to do before it’s time to go to sleep and start the whole work day process all over again.

However, while I really treasured my time off after I quit my last job, it’s really nice to get back to work and have a structured schedule to work around. Oh, and paychecks are cool too

I started last week, which coincided with a 3 day off-site thing for my department. The first day, we had a scavenger hunt around Jack London square (which was really cool) and the next couple of days were a mix of presentations, free food, and team building activities. I always thought the idea of team building was hokey. I mean, c’mon, y’know? But in reality, not only did the activities we did allowed for more insight about who our coworkers really are, but the activities themselves turned out to be good metaphors for work related issues. And while I got to know my coworkers, I found that it was really easy for me to just be myself and let everyone get to know me.

So work is going well so far. There’s a lot of stuff to learn but it helps that I’m working with some pretty cool people. And I totally don’t mind that I’m working on 3 projects already (seriously folks, the day flies by when you’re busy). In the end, I really am grateful that I was able to find a job in a time of such economic turmoil. I’ll try to make the most of it, InshAllah, and be aware of how lucky I am.

Oh and cousin, if you’re reading this, sorry for the large gaps in between posts.

Lately, I’ve been trying to learn more about photography. This entails becoming one with my entry level SLR and messing around with the settings to see what works and what doesn’t. The other night, I went to a spoken word/hip hop event sponsored by a Muslim organization at a cafe in Berkeley and thought it would be a perfect time to bring my external flash into the mix since I haven’t had too much of an opportunity to work with that.

Things didn’t quite work that way. Y’see, I was sort of tasked with taking pictures of the event.

I really didn’t mind but the fact that these pictures needed to come out well meant that I couldn’t afford to mess around. I wasn’t sure what the optimal settings with the external flash would be. Therefore, I *cough* kept the settings on automatic. Not only that, but I was so nervous about getting good pictures, I took about 400. I know, I know, but what could I do.

I really need to read up more on photography.

DJ March the 5th doing his thing

For those of you who don’t know, Dish Network offers a variety of international channels that many Pakistani and Indians in the West salivate over. We have about 3 or 4 of those channels ourselves, as my mom watches a lot of Pakistani dramas. The siblings and I don’t really care for these dramas because they seem to be about the same thing all the time, family and relationships, and portray those in a manner that have all of us shaking our heads in disbelief as my mom says “Hota hai, hota hai.” (It happens, it happens).

I happened to be downstairs one morning when my mom was watching a Pakistani drama so I ended up watching a bit of it as I was eating my breakfast. The scene that was playing out before me depicted a woman in a hospital bed with her brother by her side. Apparently, this woman’s parents had forced her to marry this one guy who turned out to be abusive, which was why she was in the hospital. Her brother told her everything was going to be ok and in the next scene, he was with a lawyer to discuss getting her sister out of the marriage. Here’s what the lawyer said:

“Well, as the girl, she can’t initiate a divorce, but we’ll try to figure something out.”

HUH?

Horrified, I said to my mom: “What?! That’s not right!”

And it’s true. Islam specifically provides women’s rights in this area, granting them the ability to ask for a divorce. AND Pakistan is a Muslim country.

My mom said, speaking of the girl in the drama: “When they performed the nikah [marriage] and signed the papers, they crossed out the line that said she could initiate a divorce.”

I was a bit dumbfounded at that statement. My mom then told me something crazier - that’s what it was like on her nikah papers as well. For some reason my mom had only seen that it was crossed off recently, when she happened to be looking at these papers. She had no idea that the line had been crossed off on the papers when she had signed.

Unbelievable. I had no idea this kind of practice was being perpetuated in Pakistan, a so-called Muslim country. Islam gave women many rights which, even in this day and age, the country is refusing to recognize.

I’m really disappointed in Pakistani dramas.They have an opportunity to teach and to inform the masses that things could be different, that this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. They’re modern in every other sense, their clothes, actions, etc. (I’m pretty shocked sometimes), and yet they can’t recognize that taking away this fundamental right negates all their other methods to be modern and sets them back instead. I’m still horrified.